I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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