so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
