Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
