Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
