am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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