I cannot find my penis.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
