Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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