proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
