Pregnant stripper...not hot.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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