he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
