is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dicks are not precious.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
