So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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