idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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