have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
