It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
