Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
well you can't waste a boner
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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