Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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