Already got asked if we're dating
i permit you to call me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
