Your tits are I can't wait for
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
