just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Houston, we have a blender
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm too high and old for this...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
