you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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