I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
