I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize