Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
