Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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