I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
