I have demons in me.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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