Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
