I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Green mimosas i think yes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
