He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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