Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
