So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
