i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have post one night stand depression
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
