Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
