I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
