sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
