woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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