Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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