Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
