My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
