Moan for me like Helen Keller
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
