Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We're too hungover to prance.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
