4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
