I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
