You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
