I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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