I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
