Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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