We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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