wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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