She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
