Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize