He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
