sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
