There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just pee around me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
