Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
