before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
