she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize